Blog

Self Care

Practicing self-care in the way that works for you is essential, especially in challenging times such as now. Self-care can refer to simply being more aware in the present moment, and practicing things in a more mindful way. But it can be useful to include specific products and regimens in your self-care toolbox.

I am linking to products using my Amazon Affiliate link. Please know that these products are truly ones that I am familiar with, but I would earn a commission should you decide to use my link. If you wish to purchase elsewhere, please be my guest.

For years, Belleruth Naparstek, the founder of Health Journeys, has been a favorite of mine for guided imagery (guides you in visualizations). A great set can be found here:

Having something on hand when you need it is important. So, while I am a fan of some subscription services, I like the knowledge that my favorite guided imagery will be available when I need it.

I think pre-printed mindfulness cards can be a fun way to remind yourself to practice this skill. Having resources such as the following cards is one way to really become more empowered:

So, I just mentioned a couple of items. There are of course plenty more and do let me know if you’re interested in more ideas! Sometimes the simpler the better.

Until next time,

Patrick

Two New Stories on Medium

Hello!

I decided to go ahead and do some more writing! I published two stories to Medium that I know are extremely relevant today. The first one examines LGBTQ+ isolation during this very tough time. The other one examines the difficulty of masks and the hard-of-hearing community.

Here are the links to both of them:

https://medium.com/@patricktullytherapy/isolation-and-internalized-shame-in-the-lgbtq-community-c3a4255473fa

https://medium.com/@patricktullytherapy/hard-of-hearing-please-keep-your-mask-on-98ee2e1eea59

I hope you enjoy!

Best,

Patrick

Black Lives Matter

I want to affirm that I believe in Black Lives Matter and Black Trans Lives Matter. As a provider of mental health services, it’s important that I finally say something more as I can only imagine the difficulty of hoping a provider will honor civil rights and stand with Black Lives Matter and Black Trans Lives.

I have white privilege and that gives me the ability to not worry about violence or assumptions of others in the way that BIPOC have to be concerned with.

My therapy space must be safe for every marginalized community and finally Black Lives and Black Trans Lives have been brought to the forefront as the horrible violence and murder against black people has been acknowledged. This needs to continue and not be a one-time event.

I have an obligation as a provider and a human being who works with diverse people to educate myself on how to be anti-racist.

Here are some resources for you to learn more about how to be anti-racist:

Scaffolded Anti-Racist Resources

LGBTQ Therapy for Individuals

One of my specialties is LGBTQ Therapy for individuals. Therapy for LGBTQ individuals: Gay counseling and therapy for other members of the LGBTQ community is very important to me. As an openly gay man, I want people in the LGBTQ community to receive competent LGBTQ Affirmative counseling. So often providers are merely tolerant, and that is not okay with me. I want to be able to affirm your experience and not make you feel like an “other.” LGBTQ counseling in Los Angeles is more common than other places, but it is still not always affirming and validating. Affirming counseling validates your lived experience as authentic and the therapist understands that an LGBTQ individual has different circumstances than a straight / heterosexual individual.

Please reach out to learn more. I offer both in-person therapy as well as video therapy options.

~Patrick

Accepting Things Out of Your Control

A common theme with anxiety is that the anxious mind wants to give the illusion that you can control things that you really cannot. How many times have you wished you could control your energy level, the different areas in your life, such as dating, and other things? I imagine there may be many things you wish were in your control. It can be hard to accept and let go of these things as would it not be great to be able to know what will happen in the future? Let’s pretend that we were able to control the future and know everything… we would be bored! Sure, things would be easier if we knew the result of things, but I find when I ask people this question that the unfortunate side effect would be eventual boredom. This is true even for people I have asked who try to have control over what they cannot control to the degree that everything they can control is tightly controlled.

But the next time your anxious brain pops up to ask you about how wonderful control would be, remember there are downsides. And it just is not possible.

There is a concept called Radical Acceptance, where we just simply accept that we do not have control over many things. By acknowledging our desire for more control and then just accepting that there is no control, it can be quite powerful. This may seem too simple to be true, but this concept has been studied and has shown benefit.

You can contact me and learn more about it and other ways to accept the uncertain. It takes effort, but an ongoing conscious effort to reclaim reality has been been shown to be greatly beneficial.

Patrick