A common theme with anxiety is that the anxious mind wants to give the illusion that you can control things that you really cannot. How many times have you wished you could control your energy level, the different areas in your life, such as dating, and other things? I imagine there may be many things you wish were in your control. It can be hard to accept and let go of these things as would it not be great to be able to know what will happen in the future? Let’s pretend that we were able to control the future and know everything… we would be bored! Sure, things would be easier if we knew the result of things, but I find when I ask people this question that the unfortunate side effect would be eventual boredom. This is true even for people I have asked who try to have control over what they cannot control to the degree that everything they can control is tightly controlled.

But the next time your anxious brain pops up to ask you about how wonderful control would be, remember there are downsides. And it just is not possible.

There is a concept called Radical Acceptance, where we just simply accept that we do not have control over many things. By acknowledging our desire for more control and then just accepting that there is no control, it can be quite powerful. This may seem too simple to be true, but this concept has been studied and has shown benefit.

You can contact me and learn more about it and other ways to accept the uncertain. It takes effort, but an ongoing conscious effort to reclaim reality has been been shown to be greatly beneficial.