Welcome to my blog! Here you’ll find my latest blogs as well as videos!
You can find books and articles I’ve published or been quoted in at: https://www.patricktullytherapy.com/publications
Have an idea? Please let me know at: patrick@patricktullytherapy.com
We want to be understood. We want someone that can guide us using not only evidence-based techniques, but also real world experience. Many people study therapy. But it’s one thing to know how to treat something. It is quite another to truly understand the person inside.
My name is Patrick Tully, and I know I can help you because I’ve been in your shoes. As a gay man myself, I remember what it was like – what it’s STILL like – to navigate this world as a so-often marginalized group. There are so many questions, so many emotions, so much confusion, and so little support. I want to be here to help you thrive, providing a space where you can feel open and encouraged to be who you truly are. If you’ve been looking for a gay counselor that you can feel comfortable with, please contact me today at (323) 819-0747 or use my online form at the bottom of the page to reach out.
So many of us struggle with anxiety, stress, and depression. So many more simply feel unsupported, unseen, and unheard. While therapists so often work with “disorders,” the truth is that what many of us need most is an advocate, mentor, and a friend. We need someone that can help us explore our emotions and our fears. We need someone that will be there to help us find the strength that is already inside of us.
I see people of all sexual identities, cultures, and backgrounds. But I also know that for those in the LGBTQ+ community, many therapists often struggle to understand what it is like to just *be* in this primarily cis-heteronormative world. They can guide us, but they may not understand us, and certainly may struggle to create a judgment-free environment where we can truly be ourselves.
That is why so many in the gay community inherently know that they want to work with a gay therapist in Los Angeles, so that they don’t have to explain who they are to anyone and can come to therapy ready to heal.
I’m here for you, and if you’re still not sure about therapy, let’s start the healing process by just getting to know each other. Please give me a call and let’s simply start a conversation. I know you have questions about rates, about therapeutic modalities, about the therapy process, and maybe about any conditions you may feel you struggle with like anxiety or depression. We can talk about them, see if there is a connection there, and get started on helping you move forward.
After sessions, I take time to reflect on the work of my clients as well as how I have approached it. I will often schedule a consultation with a colleague to very generally share how therapy has been going and how I feel about the week of sessions.
One thing that I’ve been reminded of recently is the importance of not only holding space for the client but being affirmative and sharing reflections that connect with the client’s experiences.
In my training, both prior to being licensed and now, I have studied multiple modalities. These modalities are often blended together when they make sense organically for the specific client I am working with in the moment.
I recently came across an article that was discussing how therapists are often trained in reflections but not necessarily reflections that are deep or connect with the client. In my work, I do include empathy and connection and have cultivated my own style of therapy (which also includes humor!).
But for anyone who is interested, I’m including the link to the article as I was fascinated to think about how my style has evolved from when I first was training. There’s the basic reflection style and then deeper ways of approaching an issue, and when I first started out, I definitely was more formulaic in a way. Thankfully, my LGBTQIA+ Affirmative training quickly allowed me to grow to include important self-disclosure as a cis gay male and also incorporate discussions of the LGBTQIA+ community in therapy when warranted. I also enjoy incorporating my humor naturally in sessions.
Here’s the article that piqued my interest most recently:
https://ct.counseling.org/2017/02/creative-novel-approaches-empathy/
As a white male therapist, I could very easily just gloss over the recent hate crimes against Asian American and Pacific Islander communities, but the reality is that being silent is complicit racism.
Microaggressions, macroaggressions, and violence against AAPI have sadly been occurring non-stop before the pandemic. It is a part of our history in the U.S.A.
Please check out: https://stopaapihate.org/
I commit to doing my work to learn more about how Asian Americans from different cultures have been affected. The work is lifelong for all Caucasians and people who are not AAPI.
We must not diminish or assume that AAPI friends, colleagues, family members, and clients are doing well or will do well after a certain period of time. The events in Atlanta were awful and were hate crimes.
But there is a long history of oppression, hatred, and assumptions that needs to stop and be addressed.
I stand with Asian American and Pacific Islander communities to Stop AAPI Hate.
Sincerely,
Patrick Tully
Your company likely has an employee assistance program, also referred to as an EAP. I work with a wonderful employee assistance program: Lyra Health.
You can find out if your company participates by contacting your HR department and asking.
Tech-based companies make up the majority of Lyra Health clients.
I really appreciate how easy these companies have made it to seek out therapy for anyone. Oftentimes, you’ll also be able to participate if your significant other is an employee at a company that participates with this EAP or another EAP.
Confidentiality is taken just as seriously. There is no communication between the employer and the therapist (such as me).
If you are an employer and want to offer covered sessions, let me know and I’ll be happy to provide options. If you’re an employee and curious about the process, you can also ask.
With many races and elections occurring right now, I want you to know that you are supported in my therapy space. Political stress is something to take seriously. The results after an election, or the waiting for final results, leads us to feel strain in our bodies as well as our minds. The COVID-19 pandemic has also caused tremendous strain.
Difficulty focusing, as well as increase in symptoms of ADHD, anxiety, and depression, are to be expected. And likely until we have more certainty with COVID-19, in the form of treatments and a vaccine as well as containment, we will likely experience at least one of these symptoms in addition to others.
I’ve written a bit on self-care and I want to expand on that a bit: it’s crucial to find what works for you. We can work together to figure that out as well.
-Epsom salt baths can be a wonderful way to ease tension.
-Using a favorite meditation app can create calm.
-Free apps, available for both Android and iOS / Apple, that I’ve recommended include, but are not limited to:
Headspace (Premium is free until the end of the year for LA County residents): Find more information here: https://www.headspace.com/lacounty
UCLA Mindful (Body Scans, breathing, etc. are offered)
Insight Timer (meditation, sleep, music)
It’s not uncommon to need to try multiple meditations to find your favorites. You may also decide to alternate.
HEALTH JOURNEYS, founded by Belleruth Naparstek, is a wonderful resource where you can find many meditations including guided imagery. Guided imagery guides your mind to focus and is a wonderful resource for those times we feel unable to focus.
If you have Apple Music, you can listen to many Health Journeys meditations as part of your subscription. But you can also listen to many for free through a webpage on Kaiser, without needing Kaiser insurance:
https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/podcasts
I always recommend people try out the audios Belleruth Naparstek created first. You’ll find some of them in the above link and on Apple Music. You can also listen to samples on the Health Journeys website if there’s a specific imagery that you resonate with.
Click here to access the HealthJourneys website
